The Ironic Mustache!

Tonight Alanah and I spotted what may have been the most ironic of all Ironic Mustaches I have ever seen. It was spotted just one hour ago at a Pop Montreal show, at one of my favoritist of favorite Montreal venues, Casa del Popolo.

Before I begin blogging on my Fabulous Day of Pop - before I can review any of the shows I saw tonight, or comment on any of the engaging panels I heard this afternoon, I feel it appropriate to address this bizarre phenomenon in Hipster fashion.

The Ironic Mustache. People who sculpt their fuzz in creepy, seventies-porn-star shapes, in order to Make a Statement. These ’staches are often accompanied by matching mullets, ironic t-shirts and skinny jeans.

It is to be expected that this strange facial-hair trend would make at least one bold appearance at this festival, it being an indie-music fest and all. And living in the Mile End, frequenting hipster hubs such as Club Social and Cagibi on an almost daily basis, I see my share of ironic mustaches.

But guys, this one was out of this world. It looked like this, but creepier:
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I was so intimidated by this mustache that I couldn’t even ask the guy for a photograph. It was that effective. I felt uncomfortable and kinda guilty that I was staring at him so much, but I just couldn’t take my eyes off that heinous three-sided rectangle of hair. It was just mind-bogglingly repellent. I wondered - aloud, to Alanah - if that high level of intimidation is indeed the whole point of the hairy statement.

So my partner-in-blogging and I had a brief discussion on the Ironic Mustache. Neither of us understand them. “I don’t get the point of being ironic,” said Alanah. “It’s basically like you’re always wearing a costume, always,” said I to her. She agreed.

I think performativity and “making statements” about whatever is cool only to an extent. At a certain point you have to just be your effin’ self. And stop repelling people. That’s no way to make positive change.

Can anybody give their two cents about this? Inform me. Teach me about the Ironic Mustache. Me no know.

But in other news, I LOVE Pop Montreal and CAN’T WAIT to blog about Patti Smith’s INSPIRING panel discussion, my impressions of the indie music biz, my newly hatched plans to start an NDG-based (even tho I live in Mile End) band with Alanah (it’ll prolly be a joke-band, so I take back a lot of what I said about ironic performativity), and the overall magic of Montreal arts festivals. Gaaaawwwd. There’s a happy vibe in the air this weekend. The city’s alive. Pulsing. Hopping. Groovin’.

Thanksgiving. Werd.