No boys allowed - gendered spaces for art?
by Risa DickensI used to be in an all-girls choir and now I’m in an all-girls, old-time, blue-grass jam-band we’re calling the Ladies Auxiliary. I also went to an all-girls high school. I don’t feel like I’ve ever intentionally sought out environments based on gender, and I have good male friends and Elran, but I repeatedly end up in zones defined by the fact that men are not welcome. I have contradictory thoughts on it and whether I should resist it, so I figured I’d blog it out here, and maybe see what you think. It does have something to do with art, and the dynamic between self and group, so it’s not t-t-totally unrelated to indyish (she said defensively =).
I know certain contexts can make certain people more comfortable, more safe feeling, and that this makes spaces for creativity. Girls’ school was pretty nurturing, aside from the catfights, and I think in general it was empowering to be there, though the cute skirts turned you bait-like if you didn’t change at school. Hmm. Similarly, the girl’s bluegrass jam is sweetly supportive, calmly collaborative, excited by it’s own newness in a goodly girly way. And no catfights this time round… at least not yet. Women may share some characteristics and nurturing, delighting and cat fighting are frequently put up there in the list along with sugar and spice. I don’t know about all that, but I do think we have a different understanding of time based on the way we physically experience it, and that this affects what we think is important.
So if we’re making spaces for us to develop confidence, or creative compassion, or our ability to sing a true note; something positive we can bring back to the mixed group of the real world, then it’s to the good, right? But an exclusive group can just as easily go towards self definition based on a mutually reinforced illusion of superiority. Boys are better. Women are lower. You’ve heard it before, and it’s no wonder many women feel safer with no men around. But is this way of resisting it useful or a slippery slope, subtly allowing further imbalances in through the back door?
I know there was and may still be another local group of girls called the Mile End Ladies String Auxiliary, with a core from A Silver Mount Zion and Godspeed You Black Emperor. I am currently fully intimidated by them, having seen them improvise for about 2 hours with Patti Smith recently, but if you know them please tell them they are invited to come play with our branch of the Auxiliary any day, if they don’t mind that our strings are auto-harps and banjolines. I want the Ladies Aux to keep growing with an open door policy… which is why the metaphorical “no boys” sign on the door quietly bothers me, though I can’t deny that I like and feel electrified by the gang of girl vibe…ahk.. so .. conflicted..
Meanwhile, what do men think about being excluded? Do any of you guys yearn for all girls bluegrass? Or do you have your own creative, positive places? Do you feel a bit uncomfortable in exclusive environments? Is it possible, do you think, for an open equal society to have places where certain kinds of creative culture are strengthened and nourished a la petri dish, in isolation, without tipping toward bias? Should we connect this to the language question?
Personally, I suspect that the men I’m able to happily make music with are comfortable enough with themselves to exude the same open (all-gendered?) possibility vibe that eases me into making things. I think it has more to do with the individual consciousness then the bits they were born with. So maybe spaces currently defined by physical gender should be a bit more porous, performative, playful - maybe anyone willing to self-identify as a woman while in our midst should be welcome at the Ladies Aux… I wonder if anyone would take us up on it?
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Published on: November 12th, 2007
Terms Used: a silver mount zion, Art, bias, collaborative, gender, godspeed, mile end, Music, no-boys, no-girls, patti smith, women
About: Risa Dickens
Risa co-founded Indyish with Elran Oded.
Aside from experimenting with these monstrous/sexy formations, producing Indyish events and developing new and existing Indyish endeavors, and trying to figure out how to do it armed[...]
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what a wonderful post! your idea that men and women experience time differently is going to have me thinking about this for several days, that’s for sure.
i also went to an all girls school, and while i experienced more catfighting than i did nurturing (at least that’s what i remember), i’ve also since found myself in all-female environments and absolutely appreciate the safety that it brings.
i think that in any situation where opposites meet, it’s important for both sides to have a strong understanding of their own identity, so i think spending time in gender-exclusive situations can help you define that for yourself in a way that mixers don’t necessarily allow for. but i think you know yourself if you’re banding together with women out of fear or insecurity, and it’s important in that case to remember that our reality is a dualistic one where we have to work together to make it happen.
i find it interesting how the issue of gender identity has come up quite strongly from the male perspective in recent years, with men coming out and saying “hey ladies, society puts pressure on us too, we’re also confused”. this is something that i remember being very touched by in the sense that i had never given any thought to it and felt kinda selfish.
so yeah, i think it’s valuable to spend time in the chick vibe, but equally important to get out there and mix it up. i remember finishing high school and being totally thrown off by my new environment, so i think balance is key.
what a blab fest this comment is, i’m sure this post will strike a chord with many women, thanks risa!
Posted on November 12th, 2007 at 1:05 pm [permalink]
i went to an all-girls school too, and one effect of that has been the lack of novelty or excitement in all-female spaces. but i think it’s something all women deserve to experience, that locker room camaraderie. (minus the catfights!)
i’ve played in two bands; one was all-girls (well, we formed in high school, so it just flowed from there), and the other was three guys and me. both were fabulous and fun. but i do love the energy of an all-female space.
your thoughts on men in the jam band remind me somewhat of rasputina — also known as “the ladies’ cello society.” they still use that name today, even though the band’s added a male drummer. why not? if you’re comfortable, just go with it.
(then again, sometimes you run into laughs and gaffs… one show, with the band o’ boys, the lead singer introduced the band with “well, we’re just a bunch of guys from the west” and the audience started laughing, i gave a look of mock shock, and it turned into a big joke that lead to great stage chats with the audience!)
Posted on November 12th, 2007 at 1:10 pm [permalink]
on the experience of time: we have a painful monthly reminder of time being cyclical, of getting older, of being literally connected to cycles that exist outside us - the cycles from which time was abstracted - tides, moon.
you know how sometimes it just feels like days are going by but time isn’t really passing? like how you’ll hear people say “your 20’s go by in a flash”? it’s more difficult for a person with a completely un-ignorable physical experience marking each month to slip into that. we get taken out of normal for a few days, and are reminded of how close life and death are to eachother by the whole guess-i’m-not-pregant-pain-and-blood thing.
for hundreds of years philosophy was dominated by perspectives from a certain range of physical experience. philosophy from the perspective of the female subject is working it’s way into popular consciousness now. people like rebecca kukla and others are going further, bringing the perspective of a pregnant subject into philosophy as well.
i guess the best argument for girls-only spaces is developing our ability to see what our shared experiences are teaching us so we can get better at communicating it, but we gotta make sure we’re going out beyond safe girl spaces to participate in the larger conversation, otherwise it’s a waste of time.
Posted on November 13th, 2007 at 10:43 am [permalink]
a side note on the sometimes infantilizing nature of us-only adult environments. this has to do with time too.. maybe time slows and you don’t get the range of experiences you need to get properly old? that’s been my experience of frat boys, anyway. and sorority sisters too, now that i think about it. of course, my experience of that world is really limited by the amount of time i find i want to spend in it which so far is pretty much none.
i don’t know about you, but for me it’s very clear that pain affects my experience of time. i have relatively constant back pain, when it lifts, time glows all bright and shiny and seems to shoot by more quickly. when it’s bad, minutes last hours. lots of people have written about how political crisis affects time too. i find this stuff all interesting, but some people find it so boring it’s like time is in slow mo. relative. yeah.
Posted on November 13th, 2007 at 1:45 pm [permalink]
I never thought of our “cycle” as affecting our perception of time, but it does make a lot of sense, doesn’t it!
and on the “often infantilizing nature of us-only adult environments” (nice line risa!) so what could this say about the current state of politics throughout the world, considering this was built by mostly all-male caucuses (cockuses?) for most of history? and what about the economy? religious institutions?
Posted on November 14th, 2007 at 1:30 pm [permalink]
i love this exchange. Men and Women… where would we be without each other, eh?
i think a lot of emphasis is put on “understanding” each other, but i think i have reached the point where i don’t think that’s possible, and that’s ok! i think that’s why we’re all here, it’s a balancing act and it requires a great amount of patience and acceptance.
oh, and i know plenty of men whose moods swing, regardless of the moon and tides. we blame the moon, you blame a bad hockey game, can’t we just call it even, steven?
Posted on November 14th, 2007 at 2:52 pm [permalink]
re: hockey- it can affect you, but it’s exterior and involves choice, and not the same as something that comes from inside the body of over half the population.
i think linearity and speed are characteristics of any monopolized progress, including the civilizational progress that’s been monopolized by a gender. you get shit done fast when you don’t have to negotiate with other perspectives, it’s part of what i like about girl jam, it’s so efficient, things keep moving forward. it’s exactly what makes it dangerous, and part of what’s led us to the edge of environmental collapse and culture wars - too much development without enough diverse conversation and opinion.
Posted on November 18th, 2007 at 11:52 am [permalink]
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Posted on December 22nd, 2007 at 9:34 am [permalink]