A Fringe In Review: Top Ten Non-Human Rock Stars

Fringe ‘07 had a mere few hours left of life, and Alanah, Sylvain and I were staking out our turf to the bitter end. We blog LIVE from the Indyish Tent, bringing you the … Top ten non-human rock stars of the St Ambroise Montreal Fringe Festival of 2007, according to your faithful Fringyishers.

1. The Magic Bullet
A rock-star of Infomercials as well as of the Fringe, this Miracle-Blender has been as constant a presence in the Indyish tent as the Celtx USB key. Many an iced coffee, spirulina shake, and “slush” owe it all to this trusty little device.

2. The Institution Of Marriage
Of the hundred-odd Fringe marriages made on Friday, June 15th, only about forty divorces were requested the following night. God Bless.

3. Jamaican Patties
The folks from Afrobytes would be on our list of Top Ten Human Rock Stars, if there was one. Since no such list exists, we have to credit their 2-dollar patties, which have tided many a fringer through tough times for the past 11 days. God bless them too.

4. 11-Second Dance Parties
More a phenomenon than an event, these parties were brought to us by the folks at Uncalled For, who are perchance the greatest human rock stars the Montreal Fringe has ever known.

5. Bicycles
The patrons rode ‘em, the rovers rocked ‘em. Thanks to the bicycle, the Fringe really was a small world after all.

6. “MmmBop” by Hanson
This pre-pubescent masterpiece of a song appeared, to my knowledge, twice within 48 hrs at the Fringe. First as a cover by a beer-tent crooner, and second, as the strip-tease number that opened the Thirteenth Hour Wedding Night. Coincidence? You decide.

7. Japan
Hanakengo seemed to be everyone’s excuse for making Japan-jokes the entire Fringe. Whatever the reason, I heard more jokes about Japanese people on the beer tent stage and at the Thirteenth Hour than jokes about hardcore pussies.

8. Patati Patata
Fringers flocked to this Plateau institution both to recharge and to discharge. Thank you for always, always letting us use your bathroom, and also for your spectacular fries.

9. Wedding Kitch
The fake wine glasses, the synthetic flowers, the awesome plastic rings…wedding kitch rocked the socks off of the biggest party of the Fringe 07.

10. Ile Sans Fil
Lord love it, the air has bloomed bountiful rays of wi-fi into our grateful little laptops. Thanks to this genius hippy-geek free wireless network, you, gentle reader, have been privy to more of our fringe-rants than one ever could have hoped for. Thank you, interwebs. We heart you.